NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNasri > Brillo Head

Morning – I’m back after an absence that involved 2 xmas do’s, a horrendous dose of death dealing flu and 3 feet of snow. And -17°C temperatures. I still feel like I’m dying and on top of that the idiots in the office have put up a Christmas tree decorated with my colleagues faces. It’s quite Texas Chainsaw Massacre, quite unsettling.

Anyway, I fucking hate Mark Hughes, the Brillo headed wanker so Super Samir Nasri was just what the doctor ordered on Saturday. Get that in your thick haired head and take it back to Craven Cottage “hoosey”. Regular readers will know of my soft spot for Fulham, but that’s fallen by the wayside since Brillo took over. Now it’s nice to see them struggling at the foot of the table.

To be fair though we presented them with enough chances didn’t we. I don’t understand the Arsenal team at the moment. It’s like when we were kids and we used to poke next doors dog in the bollocks with a stick. We gave him just enough chances to bit us quite savagely and probably hospitalise us. Thankfully he wasn’t even as good as Fulham and never even scored a single bite.

Why we still look lazy off the ball is beyond me. Surely the hunger of the team should be manifested in them closing down, getting in the opponents face, denying them space and maintaining possession? We look great on the ball, we have players like Arshavin, RVP and Nasri who can create magical moments out of nothing, but we still let the opposition have the ball and we still sit back and let them come at us.

Which is exactly what happened for their goal, we didn’t really pressure too much, the ball came deep and the two Frenchmen at the back momentarily forgot how to speak. How does that even happen if someone calls for the ball? Put a fucking name on it. It’s elementary football.

I’m probably in the minority, but I don’t really think the ref did a lot wrong. If Koscielny had gone down like a sack of spuds the ref would have had to stop the game, but he didn’t, he stayed on his feet. I suspect that is down entirely to inexperience. Can you imagine Carragher walking around like an extra from the Dawn Of The Dead? No he’d have hit the deck and given the ref an awful decision to make. Carragher dislocated his shoulder last week and despite being very clearly in pain he took the longest possible route off the pitch, forgoing a stretcher to do so, just so the substitute would be ready for a straight swap. He even noticed a delay and slowed to a virtual crawl. I hate him, but it was marvellous. Kos should have done the equivalent, he may have been more use in the build up to the goal.

Suggesting the ref should have noticed a punch drunk defender amongst seven or eight men, when he already has to watch the ball, the linesman and the play in general is also disingenuous. Next time our players bang heads whilst defending they both need to lay on the floor perfectly still like they’re dead.

Anyway, we took 3 points – a bit more shrewdness at the back and someone telling Alex Song he’s a defensive midfielder not the new Pele and we’ll be all the better for it.

On a side note – the booing of Arshavin was hilarious. He’s Russian you see, and Russia won the rights to host the World Cup in 2018. So therefore, it must be his fault. Not a corrupt FIFA or an antiquated voting system, but a midget Russian who hates the snow. Well done TalkSport/Fulham fans, thundercunts the lot of you. For a few minutes English football joined Russia in the dark ages, booing someone because of their nationality.

That’s the mental thing about the Russian bid – Russian football is deeply entwined with racism. Black players get monkey chants wherever they go and FIFA have already charged two different Russian teams in the Champions League with racist chanting in the last 12 months. To ignore that and for CONCACAF/CAF to both vote for the Russian bid is just odd.

Anyway, England were never going to win the bid. The last round saw South Africa and Brazil win, two countries completely unready for hosting a World Cup. The experiment in South Africa worked, and worked well and so the sensible money was on Russia another country apparently unready for a WC but with a growing football following. A lot of people are denouncing the Russian bid but they’re certainly in a better footballing place than USA were in the early 90′s.

I don’t know about you, but it was no great surprise we went out despite having the best technical bid and so I’m getting bored with all the hand wringing now. The fact remains we could hold a World Cup here tommorrow – we could hold a World Cup in a few years without even touching a Premiership ground, given Twickenham, Wembley, the Olympic Stadium, Elland Road etc (there would be at least 8 more stadia over 30,000 seats with current plans to extend certain stadia). Each Saturday there are around 40 professional football fixtures, with attendances ranging from 1,000 to 70,000. We could easily hold three games a day.

My mum has a good conspiracy theory – she reckons Brazil are financially fucked and they won’t be in a position to hold the World Cup in 4 years time – they haven’t even started building some of the stadia. She reckons the only place that could hold it at short notice would be England, and so they dropped us because we’ll actually be holding it in 2014, 2 years after the Olympics. It’s a lovely thought, I hope they do offer it to us and we tell them to fuck off with it down a hole and to take their racist homophobe mates with them.

Worse than the Russia bid though was Qatar. A country where you’ll get stoned (with rocks, not weed) for being gay and alcohol is illegal in public and only legal with a permit will hold the world cup in 2022. Seems a backward step for a sport aiming to be more inclusive and tolerant of homosexuality and Scottish people.

Anyway – I still can’t get my head around how we dealt with it. If we knew FIFA were corrupt and take bribes, why did we just expose them? Why didn’t we bung them a whole heap of cash, gold and diamonds, wait until they gave 2018 to us and then expose them?

If the cost of having a free media is not having the World Cup I’m comfortable with that. Speaking of the media, John Cross is dreadful isn’t he? Why do journalists claim to speak for fans? He may well be a gooner, but his bread and butter is writing newspaper columns for mass consumption, hopefully being (well we know they never are but meh) unbiased.

Blackpool called off their game with United nice and early at the weekend, giving me enough time to swap out Vidic and Nani. In came Huth (scored) and Pedersen (assist). I love football. Drogba scored a dodgy penalty as well which meant for the first time in 4 games my captain scored more than 4 points. About time.

Speaking of the penalty in the Chelsea game what the fuck happened? Surely it was obstruction, which is an indirect freekick – not a penalty? Or if the ref deems it a bad tackle (a foul) then as the keeper is the last man he has to send him off? Regardless it looked to me that Anelka just ran into him and could have avoided him – I’d have waved play on just to wind up John Terry.

Well, that’s quite the post. Oh and if any dickheads copy and paste their own blogs into the comments I’ll delete them with extreme predjudice and then come and shit all over your own column. Capiche? Don’t do it, it’s dull, post a link and start a discussion, that’s great, don’t be a dullard.

  • funty

    man how the heck are we top of the league haha

  • funty

    Top of the league!!!!

    Who cares how we won. The only time we conceded was when Koscielny was seeing stars. That let them back into the game and they played with more belief. Also, shouldn’t play have been stopped? Anyway, Nasri, you beauty. I thought even though Arshavin played well, Nasri showed him up. Not just in terms of quality, but effort. He was chasing lost causes from deeper positions, while Arshavin stood still. Hopefully Nasri’s example will rub off on him and others.

    What is up with the commentary? I thought the crowd were fantastic. Singing and cheering constantly. Yet the only times the commentators would mention the crowd was when they were booing the referee and say that the fans are impatient with Arsenal, and to point out some empty seats just a little bit after half time.Pathetic.

    And yes. Djourou was immense. He does have the necessary attributes and now he’s starting to deliver as well. Song, on the other hand, was just a bit sloppy yesterday, in my opinion. Clichy and Sagna did well too. And we should also mention Fabiansky who made 2 very good saves.

  • khilen

    A good win against a Fulham side that wouldn’t quit. Kudos to our much maligned backs, Clichy and Sagna, who put in solid performances and also showed that they can knock in quality crosses. Djourou should have been on from the start, he was a rock! Even Usual will have to acknowledge Nasri’s class – every team needs a game breaker and right now he is “the man”. Arshavin has increased his work rate and now looks like he wants to be here. My only disappointment was Walcott, who as always flatters to deceive. Good to be on top but it only matters after 38 games have been played.

  • Fo

    @ funty:
    It’s a weird season – after our home form, we should be at least 4th!

  • Fo

    Well said Kieran about copying & pasting blogs!
    Let’s start a discussion!

    The discussion could be – what on earth has happened to Vermaelen!?!!

  • Vazy

    breaking news is that chris hughton got sacked from newcastle… mike ashley is a complete retard…

  • Kieran

    @ Vazy:
    Yeah, mental stuff.