Arsenal request the FA for an emergency goalkeeper loan…

Down at WOA headquarters, we’ve got our hands on a leaked document from the FA…

Dear The FA,

It has come to my attention that we, down at the Arsenal, have a problem this Sunday which we need to address you about.

We have an injury to our first choice goalkeeper Manuel Almunia, and as a result, he will be unable to play this weekend. Although Arsene did say that he wouldn’t play again this season so that he could try our second choice goalkeeper out, I can assure you that Almunia is injured and it’s not just a made up story by the club to help vindicate the selection of our second choice goalkeeper.

Almunia will therefore not be able to play due to this back injury, groin injury, wrist injury and therefore we have no other choice but to play our reserve keeper, Lukas Fabianski. Behind him, we have no real depth and can only call on youth keeper Vito Mannone. We cannot call on Wojciech Szczesny as he is on loan at Brentford.

I know that the club has played Lukasz Fabianski over ten times this season, but if you have been watching the games or read the match reports, you would understand that he is absolutely pants. Simple tasks like kicking the in a straight line, jumping for the ball in the air and not picking up a back pass elude the stopper and in order to secure the third place, it is essential that we sign an emergency loan goalkeeper for the last game of the season.

This request may seem a little strange considering our youth prospect Vito Mannone has played and also considering Lukasz Fabianski is not injured. However, based on the recent ruling in favour of Man City, we are actually in a worse off position.

Where we only have one youth player in Vito Mannone available to us, Man City did have
four youth players in Loris Karius (17), Tobias Johansen (19), James Wood (19), and Nathan Dean (18) all available. Our younger keepers in James Shea (19) is injured and our even younger keeper Sean Dermott (17) is away on youth duty.

In a similar vein, our second choice keeper, Lukasz Fabianski has 14 international games, but Man City’s reserve keeper Gunnar Nielsen is also capped by his International team. Although Nielsen has played less games than Fabianski, he has conceded less than his Polish counterpart and therefore he is obviously better. As you have allowed Man City to loan Martin Fulop of Sunderland for the last few games of the season, we think we are within our rights to ask for an emergency loan to cover the Fulham game.

We request an emergency loan for Mark Schwarzer of Fulham. This will allow us to compete competitively and have a chance of winning the game. The final game of the season is against Fulham and we presume he would have been rested anyway in favour of playing the final the following Wednesday. We also think this will benefit Fulham as it will give their keeper some experience at a club like us and expose him to our training methods, putting him in good stead for the game against Athletico Madrid. With the defence we have at the moment containing both Silvestre and Traore, he will get a lot of match practice in, so again, this is beneficial for Fulham.

We thank you for your consideration and would request that Schwarzer join us as late as possible as close to the kick off as possible as we’d rather he did not train with any of our other goalkeepers and especially has no involvement with our goalkeeping coach.

Kind Regards,

Ivan Gazidis

If this goes through, we could possible pull off an admirable 0-0 draw at home, it will be epic.

  • Al

    Ur a genius why wenger did not think of this????

  • Yemi

    Schwarzer ? Why not friedel ? Since he is no longer contesting for anything !

  • devday

    @ Al:
    Because he thinks Fabianski is the new Casillas…!!!

  • devday

    @ Yemi:
    The letter was meant to be a joke to the point where we take Fulham’s keeper for a day even though we’re playing them!!!

  • Kuka

    @DevDay:- As I read it, I wished it was all true. That is how bad it has gotten. Anyone in between the sticks would do a great job. I cant believe that I miss Lehman, despite his drama and all…….

  • Kuka

    A while back, I thought we might just finish the season so close to the top than last season. I made a mistake to look at the table this morning and was shell SHOCKED. We are seated 3rd, 11 points behind the leaders. WOW. How bad can a team disintegrate. While I am upset, I am also hoping that such bad results will hopefully indicate that something needs to change. Probably our strategies have worked in the past, and that is great, but probably the game has just changed and we do not want to be left behind. Times come when managers eat humble pie and admit that some things have not worked. For the BB game, AW needs to be shamed at his post-match analysis. Why rest Clichy, Song, B52 when you are facing a Big Sam Team? Why? Why? —- When Liverpool lost to Chelsea, I watched the ‘pool players tamely walk out of the pitch and do a half-hearted lap of honor infront of a half-empty Anfield……and I thought…that cant be good. I totally felt it for them (‘pool). Little did I know that, come Sunday, we’ll be holding our hearts in our mouths, hoping for a miracle against Fulham. This really hurts!!! I wish I did not care, cos then I would not bother….

  • Nick

    Here’s a question for you all. How do/should the Arsenal fans react if we lose to Fulham on Sunday? Regardless of what happens between City&Spurs, what do Arsenal fans do if Arsenal fail to get even 1 point against Fulham @ home on the last day of the season after 5 games without a win?

  • Yemi

    @ devday:
    I know its a joke dev, i just believe brad fredel will be safer for that last match

  • Pissed off

    I wish we could swallow our ego and go back for Flamini. It doesn’t do any good when divorced couple can’t get on with live because they miss each other so much that one is ashamed to call the other and apologise for doing wrong.

    I know Flamini cheated like a Husband and we called for divorce; but who says we reunite after divorcing. I want the marriage back please; who else wants it.

  • zohaib

    wouldnt mind Flamini at all.

  • Pissed off

    * life

  • Nick

    I don’t mind there being problems that can be worked out, but Flamini was completely disrespectful in his departure. I want someone like Flamini who’s not Flamini.

  • pissed off

    Flamini is like a prodigal son. We need his servives and he certainly needs ours.

  • Nick

    I’d maybe accept it if he called up Arsene and asked to be considered as a purchase. I really don’t see Arsene seeking him out.

  • pumelled

    Somewhere between none and a little. It’s bizarre we’ve ended up here. Really bizarre. I thought we had it this season, I really did. What we’ve had instead is a lesson in the importance of the squad and the strength of key individuals within the team. These are the key issues that Arsène has been exposed on. Most of the first eleven (excepting the goalkeepers, possibly the fullbacks) can dominate and destroy, but the squad (bench and backup) is full of weak minded, apathetic players who are afraid to take responsibility. This is the legacy of Arsène’s waiting for the youth to bloom policy. The youth have bloomed and, a few excepted, they’ve turned into players who don’t know how to win. And perhaps, don’t want to win, either.

    It’s shocking and really demoralising stuff to watch as a fan. But what’s more demoralising is knowing it’s going to continue. That’s the real problem. Arsène is stubborn, loyal and often blind to the flaws of *his* players. Because that’s what every player at this club is: his. He brought them here. He chose them. He told them they were good enough. Some are, some aren’t. But those who actually aren’t, who’ve been exposed as imposters unworthy of wearing the shirt, are not being either a) educated rigorously (as Mourinho did to improve defensive responsibility when he took over at Chelsea) or b) shipped out. Arsène ignores the flaws. He tells both himself and the fans that things will improve later. Always later. It’ll be better next season. Always next season. He never steps to the plate, acknowledges the flaws and addresses them with the intellect we know he can show in the transfer market. He’s too attached to the players he has. He has bet on them. The bet went bad a season or two ago, when the success of a young player was shown to be just as variable as those purchased at ages 24-30. But still he bleats on about “youth” and “lessons”. The lessons are never learned and few of the squad players are actually young any more.

    Do I have faith? Pretty much “no”. I had faith a few years ago, but it’s been slowly eroded and, every time the club are presented to take a step forward by making a transfer that would really improve the team, Arsène runs in the opposite direction. I sigh. Shrug and shake my head. Every time, a little voice in the back of my head says “did you really expect any different?” and the truth is that, no, I don’t expect any different. I expect Arsène won’t sign a goalkeeper this summer. He’ll bleat about the positive experience and lessons of this season, sit on his hands and do nothing. He won’t sign a great defender at their peak. He won’t sign any player who could actually be considered a “great.” Someone who would immediately and irrevocably take the team up two or three levels. Someone whose class is not up for debate. It’s soul destroying stuff when it happens season after season.

    Do I think he’ll still be here in five years? Of course.

    Robin and Cesc, I feel sorry for you. You deserve better.

  • Berth

    On the Flamini issue , I have being thinking what about Eastmond and Denilson. Denilson contributed quite a lot this season as a supporting DMF. I think he can be our Flamini if he can be a bit more dynamic like adding aggression, hassling opponents (like Fletcher) and tracking back to aid the defence. I feel denilson and Eastmond has to be the key next season barring if a goalkeeper, striker and defender is signed.

  • Yemi

    @ Nick:
    Totally with you. If he calls, fine !!! Or even lassana Diara

  • Yemi

    Arsene quoted on the official web site:

    “I think we have been in the race this year with the team we had. We will be stronger next year just with the internal improvement and with the experience these players will have now. The additions will be minimal but if there are some they have to be really top class.”

  • Yemi

    From tribal (Don’t ever believe them:
    “Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is planning a bid for Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart.

    The Guardian says Arsenal’s long-standing interest in the Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart will prompt a formal bid once the transfer window reopens this month, with Arsène Wenger having recognised the shortcomings of both Manuel Almunia and Lukasz Fabianski at the Emirates.

    City, who are resigned to being without their No1, Shay Given, for the start of next season as a result of a shoulder injury, are expected to resist any offer, leaving the 23-year-old to agitate for a move if the transfer is to become a reality.”

  • Nick

    @Yemi… I’d have Las Diara 100% over Flamini! Also, “Really Top Class” Is a rather subjective term honestly. Who Wenger thinks is top class isn’t likely to satiate the fans.

    That aside, Chamakh essentially admitted his move to Arsenal is a done deal.

    Loic Remy has been throwing a lot of Arsenal come and get me quotes out there. Henry has sold him on coming to the Emirates. I think we need to sign him ASAP!

  • devday

    City vs Sp*rs – I hate them both – but can’t help but watch the game…

  • Kuka

    @devday: you and me both. I hate both, and not sure what I wish for.

  • Kuka

    Am watching De Yong and can’t help but remember the time when Hamburg put him up for the sale!!! Anyone know Arsenal’s scouts? Do we have scouts?

  • devday

    @ Kuka:
    LOL, he went for £15m to City, right? That is a lot of money for an average player.

    Re: who to win tonight, someone has to… and I couldn’t stand Sp*rs in the CL.

  • Kuka

    DevDay: Yeah, 15million is a whole lot for the guy. The thing is, even if spurs make it to 4th, they’ll probably not go beyond the qualification stage. If city do, they will buy every other top player in the world and inflate the transfer market. Hahaha. Am not rooting for Spurs, but trying to choose between the two devils

  • Kuka

    Spurs are allover City now. Am liking the draw…. I really need to enjoy the game against Fulham. Can’t keep biting off my nails because each game is a must win (lol)

  • devday

    @ Kuka:
    The thing is – regardless of Champions League or not, Man City will throw millions of pounds at any and every player – they managed to get a talent in Tevez (and Robinho) without Champions League. Whereas Sp*rs should never grace the beautiful competition.

  • Kuka

    Good point devday: fully with you on that. I just fear that with CL football, City will have a massive shout at winning top top top players. With that, not only will the league be a struggle, but all the other cups. Spurs on the other hand, are pretty much broke. I don’t see them go really far….

  • Kuka

    Roque Santa Cruz? Anyone rate him?

  • Kuka

    Goodnight devday. Fulham is a must-win….again. What a season

  • yemi

    @ Kuka:
    now on match day 38 only 2 teams will be under pressure. chelsea must not draw we must win. fulham will field a young team who will want to show hogson that they should be in the first team next season. i am sure they will want to play well since there is no pressure on them. spur will win their next match so we need at least a draw. who has the better GD between arsenal and spurs?

  • yemi

    to think that at a point this season we were hoping to beat the 100 goal margin. All of a sudden we cant score anymore.

  • Bonathan

    OMG. anyone checked out the table lately? there is a very realistic chance we could be finishing behind spurs this season. they will win at the weekend, we need a point against fulham to pip them on goal difference! how has it come down to this???????? is anyone confidant that we’ll get a point. i know i’m not.

    i ask again, how has it come down to this???

    At the start of the season i said ‘if ever there’s a time to push the boat out and spend that bit extra to bring another player in, it’s now’. there were two reasons for saying this at the start of the season.
    1- there was a realistic chance that one of the big 4 could find themselves outside of the top 4, which thankfully we avoided, but it was proved to be right. and..
    2- with they way things went last summer, there was also a realistic chance that we could find ourselves in with a good chance of contending for the premiership crown. this also turned out to be the case. The crown was there for the taking like it hasn’t been for a good few years this year.

    yes, the injusry list has been nothing short of diabolical and i’m not one of these who’l simply discard this excuse saying ‘ but we should have strength in depth’ because i believe we do have as much or more strength in depth as the sides above us in most areas. As i say though. our injury list has been the worst i’v ever known. Questions need to be asked why this is though. Is it really just bad luck?

    There were one or two areas that could have easily been strengthened without reaking the bank that weren’t. and given the current situation, i find this extemely tight. that’s tight to the extreme.

    clearly, fabianski needs to go out on loan somewhere. somewhere where the spotlight is not on him so much. somewhere he can gain a bit of confidance. at the moment, this can only be damaging his progression. maybe for good. why not give mannone another go for the last game?

    in my opinion, maybe a goalkeeper, a CB and a striker would be nice. possibly even one more, but certainly them.

  • goonerman

    i do think that its pathetic we have to at least draw against fulham to secure our 3rd spot! on spurs getting into the champions league it really isnt as simple as the fact that they are in there and will stay there! if they concentrate on champions league next year to much then they have to watch that they are still going well in the league to become a force you need to be getting champions league qualification a few years on the trot! also their wage bill is low even compared to ours so they have to think about increasing that and i cant see them paying players 100k plus so it will be hard for them to carry on from now! them players better put up with the pressure on sunday and secure 3rd place becuase we deserve at least that after the pathetic performances we have seen over the last few weeks!! ENOUGH SAID

  • devday

    Guys, we will win on Sunday. We will definitely win. Third is so important and we’re at home. The under strength Fulham team will be busting a gut to get into the Europa League final, so we shouldn’t take anything for granted. It will probably be a random Burnley team spirited as it’s their last game in the Premiership (players on the shop window) and Sp*rs not playing well after a few crazy nights out and complacency after securing 4th… Whilst if Villa win and City lose or draw, Villa could sneak 5th…….. very interesting weekend lined up…

  • Kuka

    @Yemi: To be honest, I thought I had had enough of nail biting stuff with all the must-win games. I was therefore hoping for a relaxed match day 38, leave it to Chelsea to do battle at the Bridge. But with Spurs winning at City, I might just be biting my nails again. How bad can things get. This is definately not good for my health

  • goonerman

    we cant take it away from spurs that they have got onto the champions league but when i see some of their completeley idiotic fans come out of the WOODWORK and say things like we are now the best team in north london and next season spurs will challenge for the title and arsenal will slip down the table i think the stupid PRICKS need to look at some facts!

    they are getting a new stadium and yest they will hold 60,000 fans BUT they also have to pay for that stadium, we done that and it crippled us for a few years and we have the financial stability of the champions league every season, we are the best run club in the league so i ant see how spurs are going to spend multi millions on players and pay a huge debt off.

    they will still not attract stars that us,chelsea and man united can, a world class player will want over a 100k and even we cant afford that so spurs definatley wont be paying 120k a week for a single player.

    spurs will have a tough season next year trying to improve on what they have done and maybe their stupid fans should not think of titles and champions leage medals just yet!!

  • goonerman

    if the arsenal players dare loose to fulham at home on sunday then i dont think they will be getting much of a welcome parade around the pitch after the game! like i have allready said the team owes it to the fans to put in one last shift and not embaress their selves!!

  • Yemi

    @ Bonathan:
    I do not agree that we have the depth in the squad. We have the depth in terms of numbers, but not in terms of quality. Think about it.
    Earlier on when we heard that gallas was playing with an injury, i said wow, what happens if he gets an injury and vermaleen does ? We have seen man u play without their back 4. We have seen chelsea done the same but had players who could fill in those gaps. For us, song can deputise, but who will deputise for song ?
    We have gallas and verm out, Who deputizes ? Two players with a combined age of almost 80 years.
    Yes, we have the numbers but they are not up to the task as we have seen.
    I was watching the spurs/city match and i was particularly interested in the corner kicks. City played about 9 and spurs about 5(that i can remember) and i watched as the keepers protected their 6yrds box either by themselves or by using other players.

    No depth boss, no depth. We have numbers and they have skills and are young, but they are not yet there. These are players that should ease into the team one at a time not a team of under 21’s. They only problem is that when the heat is turned on, when the pressure creeps in, They will fade out. Look to man u, when they have big must win games, that is when u see fergie bringing in scholes, giggs and neville. There is no kinf of pressure that will overwhelm those kind of players cos they have seen it all. They have won and loston the big stages, on the small stages and every stage u can think of.
    That is the same problem barca had with losing to inter, it was a had piull to swallow!!