A Week In The Life Of Adebayor

Dear Diary…

Sunday 12th July

As pre-season training begins, I find myself still at Arsenal. I asked my agent to find me a new club, but no-one seems interested. After scoring only half the goals I did the previous season, trying the leave the whole of the summer and being rewarded with a double your money wage increase this year, surely the fans should love me? But they don’t. It’s not my fault that I was so bad in the semi-finals of the Champions League, I was tired after my long injury break and was marked. After not receiving the ball for the first 10 mins, I thought “why bother”, let me reserve my energy for the end of season party, surely any Arsenal fan would realise the importance of my dancing.

Monday 13th July

Today my agent called me and told me that Manchester were interested in buying me. I am very happy to hear this… especially after selling Ronaldo, I can be their number one striker. I am on a train going up there now…

… as I arrived in Manchester, I was informed that Manchester City were the club after me, not United. This makes me even happier… I can expect a massive sign on deal and maybe another wage increase. Very exciting times. I did think my dream of lower taxes playing abroad in either Italy or Spain would come true, but maybe this will not happen…

My agent has a theory… I was on £40k and I scored 32 goals in one season.. then they doubled my wage to £80k and I scored 16, now Man City say they will give me £160k a week, so I must score 8… if I want a pay increase next year, I must then score 4… There is a formula to this and I seem to have it sussed. Boy, I will be rich.

Tuesday 14th July

Today, I had a medical. It was quite funny, the club made a rookie stub out a cigar on me and checked my tolerance and my anger at this event. I handled it for about 10 seconds and then it was too much, I immediately picked up this boy and through him against the wall rendering him unconscious and was told I passed the medical. Apparently 10 seconds is the record, and I am officially “hard”… I wish my wife would say that one day :-(

I have also agreed the terms of £160k a week, which is only deserved – after all, I did score an overhead against Villareal when I fell over planned it like a world class striker – that goal should have got me this rise alone, so what if I was offside 56 times in May alone? It’s all part of the plan

Wednesday 15th July

Today, I went to have a hearing about my work permit. This work permit stuff is nonsense. I am staying at a hotel in Manchester in order to under the language, but I am finding it hard. I haven’t spoken to the manager yet, but understand he has no say in transfers anyway, so will wait until I sign to meet him.

The hearing went well, I have received a new work permit and all is left for me to do is sign the contract. I thought with all this going on that Milan with their mega Kaka bucks would have called, I will ask my agent to find out.

Thursday 16th July

Today my agent tried to call Milan and Barcelona, but couldn’t get through. Apparently the Milan president has changed his number and my agent doesn’t have it. Maybe he will call my agent, I do not know. My agent said something about signing me over someone’s dead body… so maybe it wil be like an induction and I will have to sacrifice an animal before I join… my agent also said Barcelona would rather sign anyone else but me, but I think this could be a tactical ploy to reduce my fee with Arsenal.

I had a phonecall from Man City, but I got my cat to answer it and tell them that I was in the shower… come on Milan, call quickly… otherwise I will have to move to Man City… but to be honest, I’d prefer less pressure than at Arsenal where they expect me to score and also would prefer more bench time to rest and a go at the Europa League rather than the Champions League…

* Ring ring *

  • Debs

    Lol Dev! Quite funny. But I guess it’ll be interesting to see last season and this summer transfer window from Ade’s point of view. The honest view, that is, not the whitewashed view. Don’t think it’s gong to happen though!

  • Fabrez

    haha…love it Dev…class stuff. Most Arsenal fans will appreciate this! Ade could have been great for us over many seasons but his thinking, committment and motives aren’t right. A shame that. I don’t hate the guy but its time to move on now. Thx 4 everything but ur time has come Ade… Adios!

  • Fabrez

    And with the number of strikers at Man City, i wouldn’t b suprised if he’ll b limited to 8 goals to be honest. Hopefully none of the 8 will b against us!

  • Pete

    Very funny article Dev 😀

    Ws just thinking about the likely signing of Chamakh, our reservations regarding it, and how it might not actually be bad. Apparently he scored 13 goals last season in 34 appearences. Now compare that to Tevez season, 5 goals in 29 appearences, and it appears that Chamakh had a better 08/09, and that was him being in a team with far less quality than United.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that Chamakh is better than Tevez, but perhaps he isn’t as bad as we might think. Wenger might be on to something with this guy. Food for thought.

    Hopefully this Ade-BYE-or deal will be concluded soon.

  • Yemi

    i hope the deal is completed soon so the boss can have money to spend. Its hould also go through before city wake up to the fact that what they are getting might not be worth what they are paying….. That will be bad news cos we will have to continue paying 80k weekly for a player whose heart is somewhere else…..

  • Yemi

    Saw this on another site

    Barcelona have given want-away striker Samuel Eto’o an extra week off.

    Sport says Barca coach Pep Guardiola doesn’t want Eto’o involved in preseason training and is happy to keep the Cameroon international away from his squad for at least another seven days.

    Barca management hope during that time Eto’o’s minders can find the player a new club after talks with Manchester City fell through last week.

    AC Milan now appears the most likely destination for Eto’o – 12 months on after Ronaldinho moved to the Rossoneri in a similar arrangement.

  • LRV

    It sad that Ade tossed away a brilliant chance to be one of the world’s most potent strikers. He will do well to start thinking about signing a new agent who can put his head straight; one who truly have his interest at heart.

    BTW, Arsenal fans, read – http://blog.emiratesstadium.info/?p=1031

  • hello

    Thats what i was saying Yemi…

    I think my preference would be:

    1. ETO’O
    2. Huntelaar
    3. Chamakh
    4. My Grandma
    5. Bendtner .

  • Debs

    Erm, we’re about to sign a teenager from Cheltenham town? According to SSN…

  • els

    debs there we go with that teenager that’ll be the three players he promised us this transfer window. All deals done and dusted. Now he needs to off load ade and wenger is done.

  • Debs

    oh, it’s actually an old transfer. Dev blogged about it earlier, at the end of May. It’s Jamie Edge, from Cheltenham. I think we simply just agreed compensation for him with Cheltenham, or something along those lines, but it’s nothing new…

  • IAF

    Ade thinks he’s another King HENRY. neither the class not temprement or finishing skills. feeling the Prof can secure another Anelka like sale of the century. Could throw in a free Senderos with him and still do ok.

  • Adeniyi

    I have been thinking all day who will be replacement for Adebayor and my picks are.. which are possibilities though

    1. Daniel Güiza
    2. Lukas Podolski
    3 Huntelaar
    4 Chamakh

  • Debs

    On another note, just wondering if any Arsenal players scored hat-tricks last season? I know Arshavin scored 4 against Liverpool, but I don’t remember anyone else scoring 3 last season… Anyone know?

  • faith

    Yes Adebayor scored a hatrick against Blackburn, but we all conveniently forget that. Yes, in the season that he scored 16 goals (8 assists) in 32 starts (38 appearances) yes that’s right; a strike rate equivalent to (actually slightly better) than Torres'(the best striker in the world). But we all conveniently forget that as well. Please let’s have some objectivity when it comes to assessing Ade’s performance. If we, Arsenal Supporters, dont know the truth about our own players who else will. Less still, if we dont support our players who actually play well, but are dubbed as “lazy” by those looking for a story rather than the truth, how can we survive. Remember the old addage “divide and conquer”. I see it happening before my very eyes as many of us applaud the departure of someone who has been a talented servant of the club.

  • hello

    Vela… Carling Cup vs. Sheffield Utd. (6-0)

  • Mehedi

    adebayor vs blackburn

  • Debs

    Are you for real? I think I’ve got really short-term memory! lol. I can hardly remember any of them! Thank God for ATVO highlights! lol

  • Gooner Get Ya

    Fresh gossip (admittedly this is from the Daily Star so it is probably a load of rubbish).

    Arsenal will attempt to lure defender Brede Hangeland from Fulham with the offer of Philippe Senderos as part of a deal worth around £10m. (Daily Star)

  • Steveyj

    Nice work dev.. loving the blog post.

    Just a heads looks like we’re rumoured to be signing the “next lionel messi”.

    “Arsenal have invited Montenegrin wonderkid Veljko Batrovic for a trial, skysports.com understands.

    Batrovic, who is currently with FK Bubamara, is regarded as one of the most exciting prospects in European football.

    The 15-year-old is one of the most sought-after talents in the world with the likes of Real Madrid and AC Milan all courting his services.

    However, Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is ready to steal a march on his rivals by offering the skilful attacker the chance to join the Gunners for training.

    Batrovic, who has been likened to Lionel Messi, is expected to travel to London next week to undergo a short trial at Arsenal and Wenger could try and set up a deal to sign the teenager if he impresses.”

    Source skysports.

  • els

    faith, I don’t think that anybody disputes the fact that Adebayor has bags of talent and in fact didn’t have a bad season in the slightest.

    The fact that Adebayor is such a talent only makes it worse in my eyes. I am in my opinion a very loyal Arsenal fan and have only very few times wanted a player to leave. I would like to point out that I often defend Silvestre (say no more haha).

    When you get to A champions League semi final and it’s the clubs last hope for a season, your up against bitter rivals and it’s all to play for you want that striker with a better goal ratio than torres to stand up and be counted. In the words of ron burgundy you’ve got to keep your head in a cock fight. Where did he go??? Oh yeah “what do you expect he was up against vidic and ferdinand”.

    The blokes got no fight no commitment he tries to ‘engineer’ moves, is supposedly not a team player unpopular with the majority of the team, and egotistical.

    I would rather have £25m than that, and let the prof find us something better. Even if it’s a player who needs time to develop. Now would be the best time to do it. As we have RVP (Playing the best football of his career), Eduardo (Fingers crossed he can stay fit, as then we’ll see a world class goal poacher), Arshavin (who wants to play up front) all backed up with Bendtnar (improving), Vela (Potentially world class), Theo Walcott (who prefers a strikers role) and don’t forget Jay Simpson.

    So good bye to good-but-tainted rubbish.

  • Yemi

    Els you are spot on…Ade is a good footballer, but you don’t need leave a club in bad faith, tevez leaves man u but i doubt the fans will ever boo him cos the number of times he played he showed commitment. Hammers are still greatful to him for getting them out of relegation. That is true commitment. The club has shown commitment to ade by renewing his contarct. The fans were solidly behind him until his head started swelling. My pple, pride goes before a fall. ask hleb.
    Ade has had only one good season and then he starts to thing he is all. How many years before henry became a gooner legend ? ljuinberg ? pires ? viera ? bergkamp ? kanu ? adams ? seaman? gilberto ? and many more… how many of these player can ever be booed or hated by arsenal fans ? commitment and character is what is lacking for ade, not his skills.
    On another note, good to know we will have rosisky back in the squad. I pray his healing is final. Then The assasin arshavin can be given a more central/free role, while rosisky plays left. Same for edu (the guy with an eye for goals)

  • els

    Yeah yemi, can’t wait for rosicky to get back in the squad established and up to full fitness.

    With him and Nasri and eduardo all more than capable on the left side, i’m hopeful Arshavin can be used like you say as a central striker who can get about a bit.