Last night, Zenit agreed to the ransom money that Arsenal had offered for my freedom. I hear the fee was £15,000,000 and for that I am glad. Thank you dear Arsene for your offer and it is now my chance to escape.
However, today Secret Agent Dennis Latcher has confirmed that I will have to pay the club £2.5 million euros to break my contract. This I can not do. Zenit gave me £5m in August 2006. They said, "stay with us for the remainder of your contract and you can buy as much fish as you want". I said "yes, I love fish" and took the £5m. But now they want half of that value back. But I have already spent it on fish and one ferrari. What do I do now?
They used to pay me £100,000 per week and at the Emirates I will only earn £80,000. So I will lose £1m per year. It will take me whole year to earn that £2.5m that Zenit want. What can I do? I cannot accept this - I am being held to ransom - oh Zenit - how could you do this to me?
I will call Secret Agent Dennis Latcher and ask for a bar graph...
He has sent a pigeon to me with a note. The note has a diagram:
It will take me 32 weeks to earn the money that I owe Zenit. 32 weeks of only bread and water – maybe for 32 weeks I can share with Roman Pav-lee-ho-chenk-ko, on the sofa I do not mind.
I need to do something – maybe I can ask Arsene for help? It’s the only way.
I find myself so close to my dream, yet at the same time, further away.